Love. I love my mom. I love my new CD. I love my dad. I love new pencils. I love my sisters. I love seasons. I love my boyfriend. I love an unopened book. I love that I can love.
Love is general.
How can you describe your feelings toward an object and a person with the same word? Yet, in a way... they both sometimes can do the same thing.
My love for my new CD can make my whole day brighter and let all my emotions wander when I am isolated in my car with nothing but a loud song. It lets me escape into a world of my thoughts My love for my mom lets me know that she will be there for me when I feel that I have lost everything and need someone to talk to... even when I swear to myself that my emotions need to stay inside- just looking at her makes me blurt out everything I feel and everything that is going on in my life. My mom is my escape.
My love for a new pencil is what keeps me steady. I know that it will work for a while, it will be new and sharp and perfect - but eventually it may snap and the point may break... but there will always be another one waiting for me in the package, new and ready to keep me steady again. My love for my dad keeps me focused. He forces me to remember life and how it should and shouldn't be. What is good... and what is bad. But always keeping in mind that there will always be a backup if he should break.
My love for seasons helps me grow. It lets me experience a different perspective every few months. It is always changing, yet it is guaranteed to come back around. It is constant, it is something that I know will always be there and will always be the same, yet a little different. My love for my sisters is what makes me who I am. They are the ones who know all of my secrets, who will always be there... who, if one fails, there will always be two more to pick me back up. Together we make four strong bonds that may be a little different, yet will always be the same.
My love for an unopened book makes me curious. It is new and exciting, yet familiar in the sense that I know it will not let me down. It has yet to fully unravel and let its complete inside out for me to see, but has given me the power to ruin it... to leave it out in the rain or to bend its corners. It has become vulnerable. It has pages that have never been turned but a back cover that has been read a thousand times over. My love for my boyfriend gives me hope. He lets me see that things take patience. That time should be taken slow and every word should be read to understand its true meaning. He lets me see myself through him and let go into a world of hope and wonder.
As my life changes, as I grow older, I have become a different person. I have gone from shy to outgoing, from eager to patient, from self conscious to confident. For these changes, I thank the people and objects that I have loved. They have taught me to be myself, to love myself.
I am thankful for love.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
We blame...
The abuser. Well, of course we should blame the abuser. They take their problems out on people who do not deserve it... especially in cases of domestic violence.
(For my argument the abuser is the husband)
If an angry man comes home and hits his wife for no reason there is nothing she can do about it. She is the victim. But, then again, maybe she is at fault. Maybe there is something she can do about it.
When thinking or talking about domestic violence cases, the blame automatically goes straight to the abuser, but what about the victim? Many people don't realize that the victim is still part of the situation. She is the one who is in the position. Many people say that it is too hard to get out... that it isn't as easy as it seems for the wife to get out of an abusive situation. But, in many cases, it is the wife that makes it hard. The victims are don't make the move. They either think that the abuse will get worse... or just can't picture their lives without the other person in it.
They are afraid.
Change. Change is something that people can't seem to grasp quickly. It is scary. What if my life isn't as good as it was before? Or.. What if my life is even better than it was before? Sometimes, people are so used to their bad lives, that they are afraid of having good ones. In The Glass Castle, the mother claimed that she liked her life- that she loved the adventure of it. Somehow, though, I just don't know if I buy that. I think that she was just too afraid to change her life.
Embarrassment. Being embarrassed is one of the worst fears of life. Being laughed at, or pointed at... being ridiculed or just being stared at- it is something that everyone fears. In recent studies, woman who were being abused by their husbands don't do anything about it because they are too embarrassed. They are embarrassed that they have let themselves fall this low- or that they have not done anything about it sooner.
Children. Many times adults think that by separating or divorcing that it will be worse for the children... So, do they think that yelling and screaming is good for them?? Do they think that watching physical violence inside their house is teaching them a good lesson?? If the abuser is too unstable to realize this, then the victim has to. If a wife is being abused then she needs to realize that something needs to be done to get the children out of this environment.
Clearly, the mother in The Glass Castle suffered from depression that altered her ability to feel some of these emotions or symptoms. However, she should have had the strength, at least for her children, to get out. She knew that Rex Walls was not going to get help and was not going to be able to fix himself, yet she still tricked herself into believing he would, or pretending that she didn't care and it didn't affect her.
I have some sympathy for her and her life. But, she should have had the audacity to take some responsibility for, if not her own life, then the lives of her children. She should have gotten help. She should have realized her problem and faced it with everything she has.
I hope that is what I would do. But then again, I am not the one in this situation.
(For my argument the abuser is the husband)
If an angry man comes home and hits his wife for no reason there is nothing she can do about it. She is the victim. But, then again, maybe she is at fault. Maybe there is something she can do about it.
When thinking or talking about domestic violence cases, the blame automatically goes straight to the abuser, but what about the victim? Many people don't realize that the victim is still part of the situation. She is the one who is in the position. Many people say that it is too hard to get out... that it isn't as easy as it seems for the wife to get out of an abusive situation. But, in many cases, it is the wife that makes it hard. The victims are don't make the move. They either think that the abuse will get worse... or just can't picture their lives without the other person in it.
They are afraid.
Change. Change is something that people can't seem to grasp quickly. It is scary. What if my life isn't as good as it was before? Or.. What if my life is even better than it was before? Sometimes, people are so used to their bad lives, that they are afraid of having good ones. In The Glass Castle, the mother claimed that she liked her life- that she loved the adventure of it. Somehow, though, I just don't know if I buy that. I think that she was just too afraid to change her life.
Embarrassment. Being embarrassed is one of the worst fears of life. Being laughed at, or pointed at... being ridiculed or just being stared at- it is something that everyone fears. In recent studies, woman who were being abused by their husbands don't do anything about it because they are too embarrassed. They are embarrassed that they have let themselves fall this low- or that they have not done anything about it sooner.
Children. Many times adults think that by separating or divorcing that it will be worse for the children... So, do they think that yelling and screaming is good for them?? Do they think that watching physical violence inside their house is teaching them a good lesson?? If the abuser is too unstable to realize this, then the victim has to. If a wife is being abused then she needs to realize that something needs to be done to get the children out of this environment.
Clearly, the mother in The Glass Castle suffered from depression that altered her ability to feel some of these emotions or symptoms. However, she should have had the strength, at least for her children, to get out. She knew that Rex Walls was not going to get help and was not going to be able to fix himself, yet she still tricked herself into believing he would, or pretending that she didn't care and it didn't affect her.
I have some sympathy for her and her life. But, she should have had the audacity to take some responsibility for, if not her own life, then the lives of her children. She should have gotten help. She should have realized her problem and faced it with everything she has.
I hope that is what I would do. But then again, I am not the one in this situation.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Courage?
First, we should define courage. What does it mean to be courageous? Does every person in war automatically carry courage simply for joining? Or is it more? Webster's defines courage as, "the quality of being fearless or brave; to do what one thinks is right." For me, courage is different for every person because everyone has their own "right." What one person feels is brave and the best thing to do, can be the total opposite for someone else.
It is hard to define something that is not ours.
In Tim O' Brien's The Things They Carried there is a lot to be said about courage- or the lack there of. To Tim, courage is something that not everyone possesses. It is a trait that takes a decision. For Tim, the decision was war. Is running away from war harder than going to war? Or is "harder" even part of it? Perhaps, that is not the question at all. Perhaps, the question that Tim is asking himself is, what is my "right?" How can I be courageous? How can I not be a coward? After making the decision to go to war Tim states, "I was a coward. I went to war" (64). This statement clearly states Tim O'Brien's "right," even though he chose his "wrong."
Is that ok? Is choosing what one knows is wrong ok? To Tim, I suppose it was... but maybe it shouldn't be. People should not feel so much pressure or embarrassment that they are forced into doing something that goes against their idea of courage. Because if they do, then how much courage are they really showing?
People can not relate to war until they have been in war, and even then, every soldier has a different experience. It seems that the idea of being courageous is more important than actually being courageous. The soldiers spend so much of their time worrying about being brave for their country, their peers, or just, themselves, that when they show the slightest bit of weakness it becomes unbearable to handle. When Tim goes to visit Jimmy Cross years after the war is over Tim asks Jimmy if he could write about him Jimmy replies, "Make me out to be a good guy, okay? Brave and handsome, all that stuff... And do me a favor. Don't mention anything about..." (30). Jimmy has gone years since the war, yet the idea of knowing that he let someone die, that he was not brave for one moment, still haunts him. He doesn't want people to know that he was not courageous. Tim says he will not write about that part of him, yet, he does. Why would Tim go back on something that he promised? Perhaps, Tim didn't see Jimmy as a man who let someone die because of his lack of bravery. Maybe, Tim thought that Jimmy's story, his full story was needed to make him out to "be a good guy." Perhaps, Tim felt it was necessary to reveal these things in order to show just how courageous this man was.
Courage shouldn't be something that is taken away from a person with one mistake. Courage is something that lives within a person. Jimmy Cross still lead those men and did the best he could. He showed bravery and did the best he could to be what he felt a brave man should be. I mean, he is still a human. He does make mistakes. Just because a man goes to war, does that mean that he has to have this sense of bravery one hundred percent of the time?
Going back to Webster's... "to do what one thinks is right." What do you think is right? What does every individual think is right?
To be honest, I don't even know what I think is right.
It is hard to define something that is not ours.
In Tim O' Brien's The Things They Carried there is a lot to be said about courage- or the lack there of. To Tim, courage is something that not everyone possesses. It is a trait that takes a decision. For Tim, the decision was war. Is running away from war harder than going to war? Or is "harder" even part of it? Perhaps, that is not the question at all. Perhaps, the question that Tim is asking himself is, what is my "right?" How can I be courageous? How can I not be a coward? After making the decision to go to war Tim states, "I was a coward. I went to war" (64). This statement clearly states Tim O'Brien's "right," even though he chose his "wrong."
Is that ok? Is choosing what one knows is wrong ok? To Tim, I suppose it was... but maybe it shouldn't be. People should not feel so much pressure or embarrassment that they are forced into doing something that goes against their idea of courage. Because if they do, then how much courage are they really showing?
People can not relate to war until they have been in war, and even then, every soldier has a different experience. It seems that the idea of being courageous is more important than actually being courageous. The soldiers spend so much of their time worrying about being brave for their country, their peers, or just, themselves, that when they show the slightest bit of weakness it becomes unbearable to handle. When Tim goes to visit Jimmy Cross years after the war is over Tim asks Jimmy if he could write about him Jimmy replies, "Make me out to be a good guy, okay? Brave and handsome, all that stuff... And do me a favor. Don't mention anything about..." (30). Jimmy has gone years since the war, yet the idea of knowing that he let someone die, that he was not brave for one moment, still haunts him. He doesn't want people to know that he was not courageous. Tim says he will not write about that part of him, yet, he does. Why would Tim go back on something that he promised? Perhaps, Tim didn't see Jimmy as a man who let someone die because of his lack of bravery. Maybe, Tim thought that Jimmy's story, his full story was needed to make him out to "be a good guy." Perhaps, Tim felt it was necessary to reveal these things in order to show just how courageous this man was.
Courage shouldn't be something that is taken away from a person with one mistake. Courage is something that lives within a person. Jimmy Cross still lead those men and did the best he could. He showed bravery and did the best he could to be what he felt a brave man should be. I mean, he is still a human. He does make mistakes. Just because a man goes to war, does that mean that he has to have this sense of bravery one hundred percent of the time?
Going back to Webster's... "to do what one thinks is right." What do you think is right? What does every individual think is right?
To be honest, I don't even know what I think is right.
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